Written by: Dr. Charlotte Markey

There are so many yummy treats that are a part of holiday celebrations.  Cookies, candies, cakes, and pies are among the sweets you may start to see on your kitchen’s countertops or dining room table.  Although you may enjoy all of these foods, you may also feel some ambivalence about seeing them around more during this time of year.  It is normal if you feel some desire to eat them and also some desire to try not to eat them.  Let me try to explain the psychology behind these feelings.

Most of us in the U.S. are lucky to live in communities and families that have access to enough food; in fact, food is all around us!  We also see a lot of messaging suggesting how delicious many of these foods are – everything from fast food commercials to cooking videos on social media.  On top of this, we receive countless messages that we should be “good” and avoid certain types and amounts of foods.  We constantly experience a sense of being pushed in one direction and pulled in another.  We want to eat delicious foods – especially at the holidays, but we may feel guilty for doing so.

What we know from decades of research is that when we restrict ourselves from eating foods that we really enjoy and want to eat, we often end up overeating those foods.  Maybe you can avoid the cookies sitting on your counter for a day or two, but eventually, if they are cookies you really like, you are going to break down and eat them.  Because you deprived yourself of the cookies for a couple of days, when you finally do eat them, you’re apt to eat a bunch of them.  Psychologists actually call this the “what the hell effect.”  When we try to avoid something we really want, like cookies, and then give in to temptation, we often eat much more than we would’ve if we had just had a cookie or two to start with.  It’s as if a switch in our brains is flipped and we say, “what the hell!” and just dig into the cookies.

Part of why we are apt to indulge after a period of deprivation is because we’ve made something that isn’t necessarily that special* seem really amazing by trying to avoid it and thinking about it a lot.  If every time you walk into the kitchen you think, “I can’t have one of those cookies,” you could end up thinking about those cookies a lot.  This is actually an example of another phenomenon called ironic processing.  Ironic processing is what happens when you try not to think about something. Research suggests that trying not to think about something usually makes you think about it more than you would’ve if you had just not let whatever it is occupy so much space in your brain.

What if you just ate a cookie?

What if you just trusted yourself to enjoy a cookie or two and then tried to not worry or even think about the cookies?

Research suggests that taking this approach – enjoying food and not worrying about it – leads to both more pleasurable eating experiences and often the consumption of less food.  In other words, when we try to restrict ourselves, we often binge.

Food can be such a wonderful part of our holiday experiences.  It is what brings our friends and family together to sit down, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.  I hope you have an amazing holiday season with all of your favorite foods!

*I’d like to note that some cookies (and other foods in general) are really amazing.  But, in general, we often build our feelings about foods up in the process of trying to avoid them.

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This article was adapted from The Body Image Book for Girls:  Love Yourself and Grow Up Fearless by Dr. Charlotte Markey.  For more information, go to the book’s webpage:  www.TheBodyImageBookforGirls.com